Ways To Manage Imposter Syndrome -

Table of Contents

Introduction

Have you ever felt that you did not deserve your accomplishments or felt inadequate? Do you feel that you are not competent enough or that you lack the skills to deserve success? Such characteristics are described as imposter syndrome. People who have this syndrome attribute their success to luck, networking, personality, or other factors. This blog is an attempt at managing this syndrome by providing practical tips.

Let me explain my experiences, which will give you insights into my struggle, its impact, and the techniques I used to cope with the syndrome.

In Career

Do I deserve this promotion?

When I got promoted, my reasoning was that it was purely luck, as my colleagues who had been trying for a long time didn’t get it. This mindset was affecting my confidence as a leader. I evaluated the factors that contributed to my success. Those were:

My skills
My impactful contributions
Job requirements and my fit
My proven track record of building high-performing teams
My investment in coaching
My networking

After understanding these facts, I was convinced that I deserved this job and continue to grow as a confident leader.

Impact of the Syndrome: Ineffectiveness and lack of Confidence

Tips: Do the fact-checking to validate your strengths.

Am I being ineffective and invisible in meetings?

In meetings, when my suggestions were ignored, I used to think that I was making an invalid or inept point.

I sought feedback from my manager, and I understood that I needed to be assertive and read the audience. By tailoring my communications, I can now influence the meetings. If my suggestions are overlooked, I try to understand the reason instead of taking that as a personal failure.

Impact of the syndrome: Making wrong assumptions and feeling like a failure.

Tips: Seek feedback or support from others to validate assumptions.

Family

Am I a good parent?

Being a housewife, my mother was always there for me. I had the nagging thought that I wasn’t a good enough parent for my kids because I wasn’t there for them as much as a working woman. I would overindulge them and bend backwards to make things happen to cater to them.

I’ve learned from reading and speaking with other parents that I’m a good parent if I support my children when they need it. After reading the Bhagvad Gita, I realized that setbacks in life provide us perseverance and inspiration. Tough love is sometimes necessary for children to mature. I no longer overindulge them; instead, I say “no” when necessary.

Impact of the Syndrome: Overwhelmed, guilt, compensating with overindulgence.

Tips: Take advice from others. When it would help others grow or when it is not practical, say no.

Do I deserve my parent’s love?

Living away from my parents and with my sister living closer to them for help, I used to compare myself with her and think that I was not doing enough for them. With that guilt, I would limit sharing my burdens even when I needed them.

When my parents recognized something I did for them, it helped me understand that I take care of them differently from my sister, and that counts as well. I stopped comparing myself with my sister and focused on what else I could do for them—a shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.

Impact of the Syndrome: Compare with others, feeling guilty, and fixed mindset

Tips: Stop comparing yourself to others. Do your best.

Should I be doing more around the home?

Around the house, I take care of daily cleaning, whereas my husband is responsible for non-daily tasks such as bathrooms, etc. My tasks are less visible as I weave them into my cooking routines and other chores. Since he needs to spend a good chunk of time on a task, it appears time-consuming. I would feel guilty about his time and look for ways to do more.

After jotting down my tasks and time spent, it is obvious that each of us is pulling equal weight and both of our efforts are needed; hence, there is no need to overdo or feel guilty.

Impact of the Syndrome: Feeling guilty, and overworking

Tips: Do a fact-check to validate if you are doing enough.

Personal Growth

Do I have enough knowledge to share?

I wanted to share my life experiences with others and grow myself through teaching. I read a lot of books, I have had experiences in various aspects of life, and I attended self-improvement classes. Even then, I was doubtful and felt that I didn’t have the spiritual enlightenment or credentials to teach.

I reflected on it and realized that as long as I share my own authentic experiences and learnings, I have enough knowledge. Thus born our Siaglo as a platform. I paired up with my good friends, and we are continuing to share our experiences.

Impact of the Syndrome: Self-doubt and lack of confidence

Tips: Be clear about your vision and evaluate if you have the right skills.

Did I make the right decision?

I’m a risk-taker prone to quick decision-making. I have a niggling doubt about the potential consequences I haven’t thought about.

To manage this trait, I use an approach to list down the pros and cons, understand the potential risks, and then decide. Another trick is to use this process only for major decisions. Otherwise, I can get bogged down in weighing every decision I make. With this process, I’m going in with open eyes, so I won’t regret the decision later.

Impact of the Syndrome: Lack of confidence in decisions

Tips: When in doubt, assess pros and cons and weigh-in risks for major decisions.

Fun

Will people accept me if I reveal my cultural background?

When I was a novice immigrant, I would conceal my Indian roots to be accepted by local people. I used to be unhappy due to ingenuous interactions.

I acknowledged that the fear of rejection was at the root of my actions. After that revelation, I decided that if people wanted to be friends with me, they would like me regardless of my culture. I’d rather be happy alone than pretentious for the sake of acceptance. Through my authentic interactions, I have gained lifelong friendships.

Impact of the Syndrome: Insecurity, feeling like a fraud

Tips: Reflect, let go of fear of rejection, and be authentic.

Financial management

I failed, hence I’m incompetent. Should I quit?

I started investing in stocks. When I had a substantial loss in one stock while others were doing well, I felt incompetent and wanted to quit.

In the culture I grew up in, the emphasis was on accomplishments. With that upbringing, I’m conditioned to achieve success in everything I do. Instead of learning from failures, I was letting those failures stop me from growing. With that realization, I learned more about investing and took proactive steps for trading. I also accepted that there could be losses, and I needed to be realistic instead of expecting success all the time.

Impact of the Syndrome: Lack of confidence

Tips: Be aware of your cultural upbringing, set realistic goals, and accept and learn from both successes and failures.

Health

Will I be successful? Oh well, I will do it tomorrow.

I wanted to lose weight. With my love for sweets, the thought of not being able to avoid temptation made me hesitate to pursue my goal, and I wasn’t happy.

I recalled my past successes, where my determination and hard work helped me achieve some tough goals. That recollection gave me confidence to take up my new goal.

Since I had to think hard about past successes, I realized that I never celebrated my wins. Now I try to celebrate small wins, which serve as reminders of my success.

Impact of the Syndrome: Procrastination

Tips: Look for your past successes to gain confidence. Celebrate your wins.

Let me summarize the influencing factors, impacts, and techniques for managing the imposter syndrome.

Conclusion

This blog has given insights into my impostor syndrome and how I manage it. I recognize the fact that this is a journey. Having imposter syndrome doesn’t reflect my true abilities or worth. I’m aware that I could fall into this trap, and when I do fall, I can work towards overcoming the impostor syndrome either with new or proven techniques.

I’d love to hear your story about any other techniques that helped you. As always, I’m available via SIAGLO Instagram, Twitter, or email.